Diagnostic Writing with corrections

CORRECTION - ESSAY:

To get a job always has to be something that you really want, something that you enjoy to do. 

In my opinion it is a good idea to work in the same place with members of our family because we know that we can trust in them and also we can work better because we know how to treat ourselves.

For example i'm studying Communication but my brother already graduated from the same career, he works in occesa seitrack so he works all the time with artists, he needs helps to take photos in concerts or events and I have to help them, he trusts me that's why he ask me for help. 

He knows how has to treat me and use that to give me advice on how I can take better photos or videos.

That is my opinion about working with members of our family, in my case I have only worked with my brother, for that reason I say that it is a good idea. But in general I think that the family is always in which we can trust and we know how we have to treat them to make the things good.

CORRECTION - E-MAIL

Dear Ms. Hewitt,

My name is Lesly Nieto and i'm writing this email because I would like to apply for the job of Strategic Marketing Analyst. I have some experience in this area for example in the company where my sister works I helped when the company is not working week with all their markets, I help her to find how they can improve this situation, and I like to work in that. I would like to know where the job is and if it is full time.

Thanks in advance

Your sincerely

Lesly Nieto